March 15th, 2010
Awful noise of the day: Professor Green
Sometimes, readers, listening to pop music is not good for you. Sometimes, a pop song will reach into the bathtub of your soul, pull out the plug, and let everything glug away. This is one of those songs.
Now, I don’t normally complain about music on this blog, but Professor Green’s witless, moronic “tune” has angered me in a way that is normally the preserve of a gorilla who’s had his favourite banana smushed by a mandrill and gone feral. I am seething, frothing, livid and generally quite a bit upset.
The song was on to a loser from the very beginning, because it samples Need You Tonight – INXS’s signature song from 1987. Actually, “sample” is too generous a term. Professor Green has just flipped the single over to the b-side (ask your dad) and talked over the instrumental.
Then, to make matters worse, he deletes the chorus and gets Darren from EastEnders to sing over the top. And what he sings is so basic and rudimentary, it feels insulting to call it a hook.
The lyrics go: “She’s everything I want, but all that I don’t need” (writers – this is an entirely new and original linguistic juxtaposition, which you could also exploit in your songs to great effect) but they might as well be: “I sing this line quite high, and this one goes down low” for all the effort that’s gone into writing them.
Professor Green – or Stephen Manderson, for that is in fact his name – jumps in for the verses, rapping about being given the run-around by a girl he likes. To be fair, the lyrical conceit of the player being played is quite clever but Stephen undermines the whole thing with his final pay-off: “It’s just a song. In real life, this would never happen to me. I am a pimp.”
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Now, it just so happens putting a rap over the top of INXS’s Need You Tonight is neither a new nor an original idea. A man called DJ McSleazy had a go a couple of years ago, combining the track with Neneh Cherry’s I Got You Under My Skin. It is no exaggeration to say the result is ten bajillion-gazkillion-manillion times better.
You are wrong, and it looks like you need a girlfriend tonight..
You are sooooo wrong. you fool!
PAR!
fuk u all i gotta say get a real job
dis pussy is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTE
everyone is slating you on facebook. from PG’s link to this. your a joke.
NOT PRO GREEN BUT THE PUSSYOLE ARTICLE FAGGIT BIG BAD MR GREEN RIDDIM HE BLEW APART THE INXS CRUSTY SHIT
go play in traffic
go eat a big long poo
Well lets see what th public think when its released
So what if he says hes a pimp at the end. The song is about him getting played and it throwing him off. He gets back to his normal self at the end. Its actually quite funny and im sure other people will agree
hahaha your a cunt
Mate.. The Final Line “I Am A Pimp.” I Believe Was To Be Construed To Be Humour.
I Laughed, As Did Many MANY Others.
Your Just A Pussyole Wasteman Cunt, Who Don’t Know The Difference Between Your Head And Your Arse, How Pompous Do You Have To Be To Have A Blog Anyway?!
Your Not A Qualified Journalist, Your Analytical Skills Are Poor Also.
What You Have To Say Is No More Important Than A Bear Shitting In A Forest.
Get A Girlfriend, Maybe Some Friends, Go To A Club, And Live A Little, Your Eddddiot!
“What You Have To Say Is No More Important Than A Bear Shitting In A Forest.”
Now this, I can agree with.
imo pro’s song is good,the sample is funky and compared to the uk’s number 1 right now “Tinie Tempah – Pass Out” its lyrically better by far, im surprised “need you tonight” hasn’t got as much fame maybe he needs more ,better advertising? although “pass out” has a sick tune…….anyway there both good ,as for the “I’m a pimp bit at the end ,swear down” you have to be pretty stupid to not realize that was said in jest…….
I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and from what you have said it is clear to see that you are not a fan, however there is such thing as constructive criticism and that is something you have failed to provide.
I’m not going to slate you because you don’t like it I just think you should stick to criticisng the song and avoid getting personal.
I think you’ll find that music is evolving along with society and more songs that we are familiar with are being sampled. Some have been ruined and others have been used well. I personally think this one is of the latter. Music isn’t what it use to be; It’s main goal is to sell and the basic and “rudimentary” hook is what has made this song a success. I think the only way you’ll avoid hearing this song is if you lock yourself in your house and tune into classical fm otherwise you’re just going to have to deal with it as Professor Green is not the first nor last musician who will sample music and fit it into a commercialized genre!
Good work Green :)
mr disco pop. you are ****. bet you never been laid in your life you sad man.
Mr Disco Pop…
Age: 35
Favourite Music
PrinceJanet Jackson
i would be more worried if you liked the song, considering what a weird twat you are.
Still not get laid eh? keep trying.
See how wrong you are now.. not only do you know nothing about music your a shit critic.. find a new profession.. Mug
It does seem like ‘artists’ of today are getting lazier. Sampling is a brilliantly creative technique that when used well can breathe a new lease of life into those old records gathering dust on your shelf. Recently, however, we’ve seen more and more artists just lifting hooks from old records and raking in the profits. Take Jason Derulo’s uber-hit ‘Whatcha Say’ for example; this song is only popular because of the sample lifted from Imogen Heap’s beautiful ‘Hide and Seek’ but even then Derulo still used his own creativity to write something new.
With this abomination though it’s is just thievery; Professor Green has barely touched the sample. It’s a shame that good music gets constantly passed over in favour of artists like this who have put very little original thought into their music.
I wish more artists were in it for the joy and not the money. This is simply dancefloor fodder.
wow what a lazy cover – no imagination, no class, no style.
Mr DP, on the other hand, shows more of those qualities in his few lines than is evident inthe whole of ‘prof’ (professor in music theft?) Green’s output (which, thanks to moisy neighbours, i’ve heard most of).
Just because Facebook says someone’s great, doesn’t make them so – look at raoul moat.
Look:
The author of this blog has it spot on.
This song IS a lazy attempt at “music” and to be perfectly honest, the only people who are calling him are other lazy illiterates who wouldn’t know a good song if it bit their tiny cocks off.
You want good hiphop? Try Public Enemy, not this shit.
you are so right, professor green is awful.