Like Natasha Bedingfield and Lily Allen before her, Katy Perry has recorded a "simlish" version of her new single for hit PC game The Sims 2.

If you ask me, the nonsense lyrics are an improvement.

Katy Perry - Hot N' Cold (simlish)


PS: I usually can't stand video game sequels, but The Sims 3 looks stunning.

Labels: Games, Katy Perry, Music, video

When you think of Alicia Keys what three words come into your head? For me it's probably piano, slightly, and dull.

But not the people who run the soul star's website, oh no. They have squeezed their brain cells very, very hard and come up with the words: tetris, Tetris, TETRIS!



Yes, you can play the famed 1980s rotating blocks puzzle game on Alicia's website while being brainwashed seduced by her mum-friendly music (although surely they've missed a trick by using No-one instead of Falling?)

Why they've decided to offer this "feature" is a complete mystery. Unless they're trying to subtly reinforce the link between listening to Alicia Keys and boring, reptitive tasks.

PS: Here is Alicia's new video, for the literally quite-good-if-you-like-that-sort-of-thing Teenage Love Affair. The storyline combines the perfectly-matched topics of a college campus relationship and African Aids orphans. Tasteful!

Alicia Keys New - Teenage Love Affair

Labels: alicia keys, Games, Music

I haven't written about games on the blog for a while, principally because I haven't played anything that's set my world on fire. But, for the last week or two, I've been toying around with a little thing called Audiosurf and, while there are no flames in my garden, my keyboard is slightly singes.

Basically, it's a cross between a shoot-em-up (think Space Invaders) a puzzle game (Tetris) and a media player (iTunes). Seasoned gamers would draw parallels with Rez or Space Giraffe but, let's face it, they're just nerds with too much time on their fat sweaty hands.

You take control of a ship flying along an outer-space race course, which is littered with bricks (bloody asbo teens, etc). Points are scored by collecting similar-coloured bricks and chaining them together. The more bricks you have in a sequence, the more points you score.

It's not exactly a ground-breaking concept, I grant you, but Audiosurf has an ace up its sleeve: The racetrack is based on the song playing in the background, and you can use any track from your iTunes library to create a new course.

Really intense bits of music - guitar solos, for example - make the game speed up. Hundreds of bricks come flying at you, simulating the experience of being a Chinese policeman in Tibet. Slower songs - anything by Westlife - are more like a stroll in the countryside with the occasional speed bump.

When you finish a level, you get shown the scores of all the people in the world who have played the same piece of music. I am proud to say that I am currently the globe's best at Little Red Corvette.

I'm not so good on Ace of Spades.

Best of all, the game only costs $9.95 - or £5 in real money - and you can download it now from audio-surf.com.

Here's a video of some nutter playing The Rolling Stones' Paint It Black:

Audiosurf - Paint It Black

Labels: Games, Music

I am now the proud owner of 87 stars on Super Mario Galaxy, which I have been playing on my Wii so hard that my elbow is about as useful as that bit of string holding two raw sausages together.

It is fabulous, by the way. Full of glorious technicolour landscapes and unfettered imagination, unlike all those XBox games set in a disused factory, a brown desert or - for variety - a disused factory in a brown desert.

It also feels like a proper game, full of exploration and innovation - particularly when it plays fast and loose with the rules of gravity. At no point do you have to run down a corridor and shoot forty identical zombies working for a faceless corporation in a dystopian version of the future.

There is also a planet shaped like a lady.

But I'm not going to attempt a full review because (a) the game is two months old and (b) I've just stumbled across this drily sardonic video review, which caused me to bellow a guffaw across the office (nb: not a euphemism for farting).



Good, huh? The reviewer in question, Yahtzee, has a whole archive of similarly mirthsome reviews. The archive is available here.

And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a snippet of Mario action:

Super Mario Galaxy - Trailer

Labels: Games, humour, video

1) Click on this link
2) Play the game by clicking on the little confetti dots and trying to string together a chain-reaction of colourful explosions
3) Play it again
4) Oh go on, just one more time
5) Say goodbye to the rest of your day
6) Don't say I didn't warn you

Labels: Games, links

Because Fridays are all about mucking around on the web and waiting for the moment you can run out the office door and go to the pub. Don't forget your jacket.

The Spice Girls are (still) back! They have all put on something black and lined up in front of a man with a camera, who pressed a button and took a photo, which he sent to their record label, who asked the Spice Girls to approve it, which they did, and then the proof was scanned and given to a press person, who sent it to journalists, who put in on the internet. And then I copied it and pasted it here. Look:

While appearing on Conan O'Brien's US chat show to promote his new comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, Adam Sandler was asked to introduce a clip from his new movie. Conan then played a scene from a gay porn film, featuring men who get off on fattening each other up. Nice:

Play your favourite 1980s aracde game here. Paperboy is still a work of unfettered genuius.

Uberblog Pop Star Poetry imagines Ray Winstone meeting up with Amy Winehouse:

To The Ivy for lunch
With Quentin Tarantino
We rap about political
Subtext in The Beano

Onetime discopop fantasy figure Mary Louise Parker bares (almost) all to promote the upcoming season of Weeds. But is that really her bottom?

"Angelina Jolie is the best woman in the world because she is the most famous woman in the world". Esquire magazine writes the worst celebrity profile in the world.

Listen to the fantastic remix of Justin Timberlake's Lovestoned by dance supremos Justice. A gazillion better times better than the original, I swear.

Take a look at this clickable map of Lindsay Lohan's slow-motion self-destruction and ask yourself the following question: "Is this the future of interactive reporting, or just sickening voyeurism?"

What are Tom and Katie doing in this photo?

Labels: amy winehouse, angelina jolie, Games, Justin Timberlake, Katie Holmes, links, spice girls, Tom Cruise, TV, video

No, I haven't gone mad - those are some of the lyrics to Lily Allen's new song...

You may remember that a couple of weeks back I posted MP3s of Norwegian popster Annie singing in Simlish. Simlish is the made-up nonsense language from The Sims 2, a computer game so addictive it has been made a class B narcotic in Finland.

Well, hot on the heels of that revelation, Lily Allen has done a Simlish version of Smile. EA, a video games company with almost limitless resources, have made a video for the song using in-game footage. In a bizarre twist, it is better than the actual video for the actual song. I like the bit where she sets her boyfriend on fire.

Labels: Games, humour, Lily Allen, Music, sims

Just a quick note to clarify my points about the PS3 in the next post down:

It is the fastest-selling console ever in the UK, shifting 165,000 units in the launch weekend. Isn't it weird how seeing brand new games consoles on the shelves makes it seem like they're not very successful, even when they are? [source]

But the machine is being outsold 2:1 by the Nintendo Wii in Japan. [source]

And in the US, 127,000 PS3s were sold last month, compared to 295,000 PS2s and 335,000 Wiis. Ouch! [source]

Meanwhile, people who queued up for a PS3 hoping to sell it for profit on eBay are actually making a loss. Double ouch! And [source]

Labels: Games, Nintendo, playstation, Wii

Last December, it seemed like every other post on here was about the Nintendo Wii and how much I was looking forward to getting my hands on one. Then it arrived and, one paltry review of Zelda later, everything went quiet. Here's what's happened since:

Everyone who plays Wii Sports wants to take the console home with them. It's the most intuitive and addictive game since Tetris.

While playing Wii Tennis, at least one guest has come close to throwing themselves through the window with a rather overzealous backhand return.

The tutorial videos on Wario Ware: Smooth Moves made me laugh chips out my nose.

Mrsdiscopop-in-law got overly competitive on Wii Play's shooting range, making everyone a little more nervous on Christmas Day.

If you like the internet smaller, blurrier, and more difficult to navigate then the Wii's Web Browser is the product for you.

I completed Zelda in 50 hours, and was smug for approximately the same amount of time.

Lots of people who are better at computer games than I will ever be posted their high scores to Flickr. Does the phrase "too much time on your hands" mean anything to the youth of today?

The PS3 came out. Nobody bought it. We all laughed.

Although it's a bit too early to claim victory for the tiny white console - especially as Nintendo can't get enough stock to the UK while the PS3 sits winking coquettishly at people on the shop shelves.

Added to which - can we have some new games please, Nintendo?

Actually, I've just come across the following trailer for Wii Sims. Once mrsdiscopop gets her hands on this, I won't be able to get her off the sofa for weeks. Which could be a problem, as we're supposed to be moving house...

Labels: Games, Nintendo, Wii

Which of the following two images from Nintendo's saftey manual for the Wii console is real and which is fake?




Wrong! They're both for real! Quite why Nintendo thinks anyone would be willing to put a shamrock in their gamehole is quite beyond me, but maybe the Japanese are more litigious than I previously imagined.

Kotaku has grabs of all the illustrations from the safety manual, while theiconfactory has created some fake ones and loaded them up to Flickr. They are almost as funny as the real ones.



PS: 2 days to go! 2 days to go!!

Labels: Games, Nintendo, Wii

I've now placed two pre-orders for a Nintendo Wii, just to make absolutely sure I get one on release day (8 December).

Does that seem a bit excessive? I admit that when I woke up this morning I was beginning to question my own sanity... Then someone sent me this video of a small child playing the boxing mini-game on Wii Sports and I realised why I'm so excited all over again.



How could you not want something that makes you do that in front of your tellybox?

Labels: Games, Nintendo, Wii

One of mrsdiscopop's favourite games is Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 on the PC. But she doesn't play it like this.

Oh, the humanity!
[via kotaku]

Labels: Games, humour

If you haven't left work yet (and if not, why not?) this game will drive you to distraction until the boss frees you from your shackles for the weekend.

You have a couple of seconds to memorise a pattern of dots, which you then have to replicate on a grid in front of you.

Five mistakes and the game ends.

It is the most infuriating thing I've done all week, except for that one thing with the hamster and the trousers.

Play it here

Labels: Games, links

The Pet Shop Boys have announced the second single from their excellent Fundamental album will be the uptempo dancefloor stomper Minimal.

What they haven't announced is that the song features a cartoon dog from Nintendo's Animal Crossing game...

Animal Crossing is a role-playing / life-simulation game on the Gamecube and DS that sees you performing menial tasks and cultivating friendships in a primary colour village.

It's played in real time, and on Saturday nights you can catch a wandering canine minstrel, K.K. Slider, performing a set of folk classics in the village coffee shop. He even gives out bootlegs at the end of the gig!

Clearly the Pet Shop Boys are fans, as they've "hired" Slider for a solo spot on the chorus of Minimal. Don't believe me? Here's a handy side-by-side comparison:



Pet Shop Boys - Minimal

KK Slider - DJ KK

KK Slider - Rockin' KK

See what I mean?

Pet Shop Boys site

Introduction to the groovy world of KK Slider

Labels: ds, Games, humour, links, MP3, Music, Nintendo, pet shop boys

There's going to be a lot of gaming news this week, as the E3 conference kicks off in Los Angeles. Expect major announcements on the PS3, and Nintendo's stupidly-named new console ("What do you want for Christmas, Timmy?" "I want a wii").

But before the delegates have had their first vol-au-vents, there's one piece of news that has us all a-quiver here in Discopop Towers: LucasArts have announced a sequel to the official most-ruddy-brilliant game of 2006, Lego Star Wars.

The first game, if you missed it, put you in charge of a slew of Lego characters and let you charge around the three Star Wars prequels with a lightsabre. It was very cartoonish and knockabout, allowing you free reign to be silly and disrespectful where the films were ponderous and self-important. Best of all, you could play the entire thing with another person (it turns out that mrsdiscopop is a very credible jedi knight) and let you chop their heads off for a laugh, without any bad karma comeback.

The new game deals with the three 'proper' Star Wars movies, and from the trailer (which you can see below) it looks like it's retained all of the charm and humour of it's predecessor. It is also as mad as a box of frogs wearing hats and playing the bongos with a diabetic lemur. Which is quite mad indeed.

Labels: Games, video

A lesson in how not to rebrand your product, courtesy of Nintendo.

Introducing... Wii.
As in "we."
While the code-name "Revolution" expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer.
Wii will break down the the wall that separates video game players from everybody else.
Wii will put people more in touch with their games... and each other. But you're probably asking: What does the name mean?

Not really. I'm asking "Is this a joke?" Apparently not - the press release continues;

Wii sounds like "we" which emphasises the console is for everyone.

Or you could say it sounds like "wee", which makes you think of piss.

Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just wii.

Wii has a distinctive "ii" spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering round to play.

Translation: Our marketing team came up with this idea when they were on a massive sugar-rush. Look, they said, it's spelt all funny! And it's just like when we used to play on the slides, "Weeeeeeeeee!" This is the best name for a video games console ever in the history of the world!!!!!

And Wii, as a name and a console, brings something revolutionary to the world of video games that sets it apart from the crowd.

This paragraph has no meaning.

So that's Wii. But now Nintendo needs you.
Because, it's not really about you or me.
It's about Wii.

You, boy. Stop singgering.

And together, Wii will change everything

Oh. Dear.

Labels: Games

As tomorrow is Friday, you'll no doubt be looking for some distractions to pass the hours 'til the weekend (that's why you're here, right?). May I recommend this website, where you can create your very own South Park lookey-likey.

That's mine on the right. His name is Spanky.

If that doesn't get you through the rest of the day, you can exercise your inner pyromaniac by playing this game. It's called Consumed by Flame and in it you take on the role of a fire trying to spread itself around an entire town. A bit like Jordan, except here you're actually hot.

Consumed By Flame is just one of the many (free) games created as part of the Experimental Gameplay competition. The winner gets to work as a real game designer for a year (Doritos and Clearsil not included). You can play all the competition entries, and vote for your favourite on the official competition website.

And if you're still looking for something to do, you could pop over to the Shepherd's Bush Empire and keep me a place in the queue for tonight's Cardigans concert. There's a Kit-Kat in it for you if you're lucky.

Labels: cardigans, Games, humour, links

1) Yayyyy! Shouty pinhead Alesha Dixon, what was in Mis-Teeq, has put some groovy solo material on Myspace. Assuming this is the throwaway, non-single, material we have plenty to look forward to when she launches her comeback later this year.
Click it!

2) Arrrrgh! The man behind the cancelled / reinstated / cancelled sitcom Arrested Development says he's walking away from the show. But 20th Century Fox hint (again) that the show might come back. Stop the madness!!
Click it!

3) Ewwwww! Ryan Seacrest is smooching Teri Hatcher. Gross.
Click it!

4) Ooooooh! Get tickets for sell-out concerts at face value from other fans! Altruistic website Scarlet Mist beats the touts (and Ebay).
Click it!

5) Gotcha! Actor Joseph Gordon Levitt papparazzes the papparazzi, and puts a film about it on the web. You like? We like.
Click it!

6) Finally! You know how we were going on about how great old videogame soundtracks were yesterday? (yes, of course you do) Well, the super mario theme seems to have some rather odd devotees. Watch below as a teenager plays the song on two guitars at once. For no apparent reason.

Or, indeed, these people doing it a capella. For no apparent reason.


That is all.

Labels: Alesha, Games, links, TV

Remember that strobe light / musical instrument we were talking about in our last post? Well, some kind soul has filmed its inventor, Toshio Iwai, demonstrating the Tenoi-On at the Spanish ArtFutura festival. The video is just underneath this text.

We can see Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood sporting one of these machines at Glastonbury 2007.

The second half is where everything whizzes and bangs - so we'd recommend judicious use of the fast-forward button.


(Via YouTube)
By the way, if you like what you see we'd suggest getting hold of Mr Iwai's new game for the Nintendo DS, Electroplankton. Using the same premise of turning user's interactions into sound collages, it has been getting rave reviews everywhere. Yahoo calls it, "a unique sort of marine pop-art biology". (read the whole review here)

Essentially, Electroplankton is an interactive musical toy. The underwater theme is pure whimsy, the 'plankton' of the title really being pictorial representations of sounds, instruments or speech. Using the stylus, you manipulate the little creatures or their surroundings to create melodies. No, piano 'grades' are not required.

As you can see, the whole thing is incredibly difficult to explain. The best way to tell your friends what it's all about would be to show them, otherwise you'll end up using phrases like "deranged subaquatic jazz improv computer game toy sound making thingy", which is no use to anyone.

Even better, blogger Stinkygoat has made this exciting discovery while spanking his plankton:

"Sometimes they chirped, sometimes they formed into circles and crosses... until at one point I held the DS out in front of me and sang "FLUFFY!" into the microphone.

"The nanocarp swarmed and reformed in the shape of a llama.

"I thought this must surely just be some random shape change, but subsequent experiments proved to me without doubt that if I sing "FLUFFY!" at a certain pitch to my DS, the nanocarp always form the shape of a llama."

Brilliant! In 2006, we love computer games all over again.

Buy Elektroplankton at NCSX.
(You have to import it if you're in the UK. Bah.)

Labels: ds, Games, Nintendo

Here's a nifty way to save money: a search engine that looks for mistakes on eBay listings.

It's fairly obvious that a pair of pants listed, by accident, in the antiques section will be seen by fewer people and therefore attract lower bids (unless they're really unique, frilly Victorian pants previously owned by David 'cheap as fucking chips' Dickinson).

Less obvious, however, is that mis-spellings can also reduce visibility to the casual e-Buyer, and thus have the same effect.

According to this website, one eagle-eyed user has just picked up a brand new Nintendo DS and three games for £40 because the seller had listed the machine as a "Nintendo D S" (with a space). Doik!

Labels: ds, Games, Nintendo

The Nintendo DS is, almost unbelievably, outselling the PSP in every country around the world. It has even been shifting 40,000 units a week in the notoriously Nintendo-phobic UK.

To be fair, we can understand why. The games are innovative and genuinely fun, the wireless multiplayer works like a dream, and the touchpad is incredibly intuitive. In fact, our home consoles haven't had any play since we bought the DS back in October.

However, we've discovered the console could kill you !!!!!!11!

We've been shielded from the potential health hazards because the European version of the DS comes without the nine pages of safety advice contained in the Japanese instruction manual.

Luckily, some enterprising souls have posted the Japanese manual on the internet. We're guessing that the majority of you don't speak Japanese, so here is a rough translation of the key points.


When using the stylus, avoid repeatedly stabbing yourself through the tongue.

Your DS will not help you to attract a mate, even if you put it in your pants.

Don't play while hiding under your sheets, in case the bogeyman gets you.

On occasion, the DS will emit poisonous fumes.
Do not approach it during this time.

The Nintendo does not much like milk.

Play safely, folks.

Labels: ds, Games, Nintendo

What the…?! That's really the only response to Nintendo's new controller. Well, that or: "Wait a minute, that's a remote control. How do you play the games?"



Well, the main controller is motion sensitive. Tilt it, and your movement will be replicated on-screen. It's got the usual array of buttons on the face, and a trigger at the back. The analogue stick, called a "nunchuck" is an add-on, which should provide mouse-style movement for shooting games.

Unveiled at the Tokyo Game Show yesterday, its got to be a massive risk for Nintendo. The company famously wants to expand gaming beyond the traditional geeky boundaries -- see the stylus-controlled DS for proof. But will non-gamers be seduced by the new controller simply because it looks familiar? And will current gaming freaks give up the stunning graphics (but questionable gameplay) of the new Xbox and Playstation in favour of something new?

Certainly, peripherals like Eyetoy and Donkey Konga show that you can persuade gamers and non-gamers to get together and play if you offer them something new and innovative. Imagine using this controller as a virtual golf-club, or a conductor's baton. That’s the sort of thing that can get the entire family to gather round the TV, making Nintendo's "Revolution" a lifestyle purchase, rather than a boy's toy.

Ultimately, however, Nintendo will live or die by this console. They've already lost their predominant place in the games market to Sony and Microsoft. If no-one buys into the concepts behind the Revolution it could spell disaster for the company. Luckily, gaming magazines who've had the chance to try out the new console seem to love it. The much-respected Edge has already branded the controller "one of the most streamlined, classic and neatly designed... seen so far in videogaming."

Consider my Xbox pre-order cancelled.

Had I ever pre-ordered one.

And I didn't.

Nintendo official site

Edge online

Labels: Games, Nintendo

Jennifer Lopez, we're told, is a "Triple Threat". We'd always assumed that meant she could sing, dance and act - until we saw Gigli. So what is that mysterious third talent? Apparently, it's farting in people's faces.

The ultimate present for your mopey, Morissey-stalking friend - His house.

Now you can buy Bill Clinton's jazz collection. Unfortunately, it's a CD of his favourite songs, rather than a stash of top-shelf magazines.

Thinking of buying a PSP? Why bother when Nintendo are discounting the DS. In the US, Nintendo's machine is now half the price of Sony's - and we'd wager that similar discounts will appear over here just in time for the PSP launch.

And, finally, how can we resist a video where a geeky teacher sings to his class:


"Nobody loves you like your mama loves you
But who's loving your mama?
I am."


Well, we can, after the initial novelty has worn off. But you can click here to watch it once.

Labels: ds, Games, Nintendo

Mrsdiscopop was trying to take a photo of a peacock eating my hotdog at Whipsnade Animal Park (stop sniggering at the back).

Unfortunately, Mr Cock's deft footwork proved too much even for her nimble fingers... But there was something pleasing about the way the photographs displayed on the contact sheet, don't you think?



Elsewhere in the universe:

Jude Law is selling his sordid snooker table of sex

Medical students can now practise their surgery skills on the Nintendo?!

Simon Le Bon is getting back on the boat that tried to kill him.

And finally... Britney wants to call her baby "Charlie" -- as in 'and-the-chocolate-factory'. We suppose that if you really have to name your child after a Roald Dahl book, Charlie is probably one of the better options. Indeed, it's amazing that Britters hasn't chosen something more in line with rockstar offspring tradition - like "Giant Peach" or "The Twit"...

Incidentally, Britney has decided not to give birth live on TV. So it will be safe to eat your dinner in front of the telly this October.

Labels: Britney Spears, duran duran, Games, links, Music

Brad and Angie play happy families for a US magazine photoshoot. Has no-one any dignity any more?

Radiohead won't be playing at Live 8
But there's no need to worry about the lack of angst-ridden avant-garde guitar music, as McFly have signed up for the Socttish gig. Yay!

Stevie Wonder has a new son. Celebrity procreation isn't all that interesting - but this is his seventh son. No wonder he's not been putting a great deal of effort into his music for the last 20 years.

Pitchfork has a great article on music in video games.

The government is to consider doubling the copyright period on pop music to 100 years. It's a ridiculous idea - no composer is going to live long enough to keep collecting royalties for that amount of time.

The record companies, of course, say the money will be invested in finding new bands. Translation: "Our business plans are fucked, we're losing money hand over fist, Elvis' recordings are about to become copyright free. Help, help help!"

And the government is bending over backwards to help extend the monopoly of the four multinationals who run the industry. Shame on them.

Labels: angelina jolie, brad pitt, Games, Music, radiohead, stevie wonder

Snoop Dogg says he might
shorten his name to plain old Snoop to 'shed all canine references from his moniker'.

Erm, surely Snoop is a canine reference? Or is he planning to come back as a private detective?

The Nintendo DS is getting a Rumble feature, which should make using the stylus a hell of a lot more challenging...