Sorry the blog's been a bit underpopulated for the last couple of days - I've been poorly sick. But here's a few things you might have missed (or seen elsewhere while I was away, natch).



:: Is this the biggest battle of the pop divas in the history of the cosmos?

Big guns Britney, Beyoncé, Christina Aguilera and Alesha Dixon (and Leona Lewis) all have singles out this week, while Girls Aloud have squeezed out their fifth studio album. Chart-wise, it looks like X Factor's not-quite-as-awful-as-you'd-expect version of Hero will be number one again, with Girls Aloud's The Promise at two and Beyonce's gramatically-incorrect If I Were A Boy at three. Meanwhile, Out Of Control looks set to beat Razorlight to the top of the album charts, giving Girls Aloud their first ever non-compilation number one. Amazing. [More on the midweeks at Music Week]

:: Jamelia has a comeback single, Break It Down, Tear It Up. It's miles better than the confused mess of her last album - but is it good enough to put her back where she belongs (somewhere between The Saturdays and McFly on the bill for T4 on the Beach)? The jury is out. [listen / download]

:: Another track from the Killer's new album, Day & Night, has leaked. No surprises here: Too many synths, Brandon Flowers not very good at singing, the track itself = brilliant.

The Killers - Spaceman


:: It's like a blogger's wet dream - M.I.A. covers the theme tune to The Wire. Sadly, it's rubbish. [Youtube (youtube)]

:: Is this a new Justin Timberlake single? Hmmm... it sounds a bit like a FutureSex/LoveSounds cast-off to me.

:: The NME has published its annual "cool list" - with entries for Jay-Z, Liam Gallagher, Amy Winehouse and, er, Peter Gabriel. The number one slot, as is customary, goes to someone the NME is trying to justify having put on their front page in April, despite the fact they've made absolutely no impact on anyone, anywhere in the intervening six months. This year, it's Alice Glass from Crystal Castles (they're like the Human League with all the tunes taken out). As Stereogum points out, the NME have once again confused "cool" with "notorious". [Stereogum]

:: A Kiss Is Not A Contract - but a baby is a life sentence (in a good way, obviously). Flight Of The Conchords star Jemaine Clement is a dad. Congratulations. [3 News, New Zealand]

:: Lukewarm S Club 7 reunion is lukewarm. [Popjustice]

:: Oh yes, and there was a completely historic, paradigm-shifting, momentous election in the US. Barack Obama is President elect (Yay!!!) and Will.i.am has written a song about it (woop!). And so has Nas (respect) and so has Seal (er, hooray?!)

Back to business as usual from tomorrow...

Labels: Alesha, barack obama, beyonce, britney, Christina Aguilera, flight of the conchords, Girls Aloud, Justin Timberlake, killers, M.I.A., Music, video

According to her new single, Beyoncé's dearest wish in the whole wide world is to become a stinky, smelly boy.

Not that she wants to break down gender inequality, like Kate Bush in Running Up That Hill. She simply thinks she'd make a better boyfriend than a regular guy, because she is all sensitive and . Here's the chorus:

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cos I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cos he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a load of old balls, of course. If Beyoncé - a restless and ruthlessly ambitious young woman - was given regular testosterone shots, she'd become dangerously sexual and aggressive... Essentially, she would be a prettier version of Mike Tyson, and nobody wants to see that.

But there's a more pressing issue here. Trans-sexuals usually change their name to reflect their new gender - Harry becomes Harriet, or Simone becomes Simon. But what's the male equivalent of Beyoncé? Is it Benny? Or Bertrand? Beowulf??! Answers in the comments box, please.

Songwise, If I Were A Boy is not what quite what you'd expect, the cosy harmonies and lilting guitar lines recalling nothing other than Joan Osborne's One Of Us. But not in a bad way.

The full track has premiered on the website of NY radio "personality" Elvis Duran. Have a listen to the clip below and tell me what you make of all this gender realignment business.

Labels: beyonce, MP3, Music

Beyoncé's little sis Solange, like so many pop siblings (Dannii Minogue, Daniel Bedingfield, the other Jonas Brother) is the victim of a huge cosmic joke, whereby she is given 80% of her sister's talent, looks and charisma, and then expected to try to live up to the reputation of her surname.

Her s last single, I Decided, stalled at an embarassing number 27 despite a terrific remix from The Freemasons. Her new one, Sandcastle Disco, isn't going to do any better.

Everything about it is almost brilliant. The FX-laden primary colour video is charming; the Motown-inspired beat is groovesome; the vocals shimmer like water playing on the mediterranean sea. But, ultimately, the melody is so flimsy it evaporates like an ice cube in a heatwave.

Solange - Sandcastle Disco


Luckily, we have found one use for the would-be soul diva - and it's a guaranteed way to make a living if you're an underperforming sibling (just ask LeToya Jackson) - The "naughty little sister" interview.

Here is Solange in the current issue of Blender magazine:

What kind of drunk are you?
I am a Miss-Tina’s-in-the-back-of-my-head kind of drunk.

You mean, your mom. What is she saying?
"Girl, you better have some panties on!" My mom’s so reserved — last year, for my 21st birthday, she was like, "You can have one glass of champagne, and that’s it." I said, "First of all, I haven’t lived last with you since I was 17. Second, I’m divorced. And third, I have a kid. I am drinking tonight."

Awesome.

Labels: beyonce, Music, solange, video

Some vacuous entertainment for your eyes on a Friday afternoon...

This poster was pinned to the gate of Paris Hilton's home in LA. Particularly nasty / brilliant is the description of Lohan as a "freckle-bellied cokewhore terrier".

Q: Is Salma Hayek still pregnant?
A: No, she is hiding a leg of ham up her nightdress. That is definitely what it is.

FACT: Kanye West is a tit.

US Weekly didn't look closely enough at this photo before they published...
Or perhaps that's a real thought-bubble coming out of Amy Winehouse's ear?

Isn't it sickening that someone could be this hot after a nine-hour transatlantic flight? (Answer: Yes, it is)

Crikey! Haven't the Sugababes let themselves go?
(Er, are you sure this isn't Beyoncé and her mum? -Ed)

Labels: amy winehouse, beyonce, Girls Aloud, kanye west, lindsay lohan, salma hayek

A couple of weeks back, I had the pleasure of interviewing former Destiny's Child songorator Kelly Rowland for my proper job.

Afterwards, I was quite disparaging about the whole experience. Kelly managed to talk for an entire half an hour without one interesting snippet of information falling out of her mouth hole, I told my colleagues.

Yes, she was friendly, polite, engaged; but she was also duller than a broken torch in a black hole on national battery shortage day. With your eyes closed.

So I was quite surprised to listen back to the interview earlier this week and find I was completely wrong. Ms Rowland was singing, joking, and surprisingly frank about one of her new songs, "Still In Love With My Ex". I, on the other hand, was all over the place - constantly letting the conversation falter while I tried to think up my next question. It was like amateur hour at journalism summer camp.

By the grace of God, the interview was salvagable and it'll go up on the Beeb's website in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, here are a couple of 'DVD extras' that didn't make the final cut.

Q: Do you still live in Houston?
A: No, I live in Miami now. The water is beautiful – but it’s the only thing that keeps me in Miami. I really miss being at home.

Q: Is there anywhere else you'd like to live?
A: The first time I came over to London I said I wanted to buy a place over here – but my best friend would kill me and my phone bill would be astronomical. While I’m here I have crazy bills from my cell phone. It’s insane.

Q: You've acted in a couple of films like Freddy vs Jason, have you put that on hold for music now?
A: No, it's something I’d like to pursue. Romantic comedies really interest me. TV work does too. I love ugly Betty and I love Gray’s Anatomy... but I'm a bit behind on it. There’s something about that show and I have to know what that is.

Q: You've worked with a lot of the old Destiny's Child producers on your album. Is it easier to be in the studio with people you know?
A: For me, it’s comfortable. I've gone into the studio with producers I don’t know and I don’t know what their vibe is so I will leave. I feel like it messes up the creative environment.

Q: What's one of your best memories of Destiny's Child?
A: The last DC show was in Dublin and we kept chanting "ole, ole, ole". Beyonce would not stop singing it – she wouldn’t get off the stage! I was shouting "B!" and she was still out there giving it "ole, ole, ole". And finally she got us all back on stage, holding hands and shaking in circles – we had a good time. It was great.

Here is Kelly's new video, Like This, which - having listened to it seventeen times in a row - is now filed under the category "alright, I s'pose".

Labels: beyonce, kelly rowland, Music, video

:: Play 80s coin-op classic Asteroids - but with jazz. You get a really kick-ass bass solo if you score 10,000 (nb: I made that up).
[go to Fingertime]

:: Download some superpop MP3s from Sophie "my husband is in a band too" Ellis-Bextor and New Young Pony Club on Fluxblog.
[go to Fluxblog]

:: Marvel that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are still dating. Wasn't her whole last album about being cheated on and dumping your boyfriend? Am I missing something here?
[go to Perez Hilton]

:: Learn to play drums from the amazing Bernard Purdie (this is my favourite clip ever and of all time in perpetuity).

Labels: beyonce, gossip, Music, new young pony club, sophie ellis bextor, video

Hello there. I'm still a bit ill, so sorry about the infrequent posts of late.

In the meantime, here's some new music that other blogs have posted - thus saving me all the effort.

The Fray do an oh-so-amusing live version of Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. Listen once, then destroy. [MP3 on Chris' Pix]

New Beyoncé material never seems to stop coming. Here's her new duet with Jay-Z [Fetch Me Some Music], and her new duet with Shakira [Ali's Blog]. Yummy.

Rozonda Thomas (aka Chili out of TLC) has got a new single. It's called Straight Jack, it features Missy Elliot and it is so-so. [MP3] [via Hops Mp3 Thing]

Popjustice has a 45-second clip of ex-Sugababe Mutya Buena's collaboration with Groove Armada. It's not exactly I See You Baby, but it's a vast improvement on Buena's duet with George (spit) Michaels. [Popjustice]

Another leaked track from Mark Ronson's covers album, Version. This one is a funked up version of The Jam's Proper Green. Ace. [MP3 on Fluxblog]

Finally, here's the video for the Timbaland / Nelly Furtado / Justin Timberlake collaboration that's been going round for ages. It's lost some of it's lustre after repeated listens, but I'd still shake a leg to it if (a) I went to clubs any more and (b) I wasn't about to collapse into a pitiful heap of wheezing and phlegm.

Labels: beyonce, Justin Timberlake, MP3, Music, Nelly Furtado, Shakira, tlc