Our annual totally unbiased rundown of the top ten singles and albums of the year is due between Christmas and 2009 - but here's something new: Five terrible singles from the last 12 months - chosen with extreme prejudice and complete subjectivity. Stinkers, the lot of them.

Duffy - Rain On Your Parade

Clearly a cast-off from the Rockferry recording sessions, this was repackaged as a single to promote the "special" edition of Duffy's album. Still, even that wasn't as cynical as the video's attempt to rebrand Duffy as a sex symbol (She gets her legs out! She's absolutely in her 20s and anyone who says otherwise is just jealous! Your dad definitely would!) They should have released Distant Dreamer instead.

Blackout Crew - Put A Donk On It

Amazingly, this song is not intended to be a joke.

Sugababes - Girls

The Sugababes spend a lot of time prattling on about how they're the "credible alternative" to Girls Aloud and other pop acts. So why did they base this single on a ropey sample from a commercial for a high street chemists? Because they wanted to have a number one. It backfired. Ha!

Avenue - Last Goodbye

Dear Universal Music Group: If you are going to spend a lot of time and effort "reinventing" the boyband, it would be best not to rely on all the clichés that seemed hackneyed in 1999 (There's a pretty-but-sexually-ambiguous one! There's a bit of rough! There's two who can dance! And a minger on the piano! They'll appeal to teenage girls and the gays!). Thank you, bye bye.

Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

Okay, it's not that bad - but I had to do something to counter Rolling Stone, who named it the best single of the year. What a load of old guff.

:: Agree? Disagree? Put your nominations in the comments box!

Labels: Beyoncé, duffy, Music, sugababes

Dear Daily Mail,
With their new video, Britain's most treasured pop group The Sugababes have taken feminism a step too far. They are literally treating men as objects. Take a look at the evidence:


A Motorbike!


A Staircase!


A Vehicular Automobile
(mind where you stick that nozzle, madam)


An Standard Lamp!


The World's Most Impractical Bed!


Er... Scatter cushions??!?


I, for one, will be boycotting these so-called Sugababes until they retract this offensive and distasteful video and apologise for their actions. Someone should resign!

Yours,
Sgt William Smythe (Mrs)

Sugababes - No Can Do

Labels: sugababes, video

The Sugababes had a launch party for their ridiculously-titled Catfights and Spotlights album in central London last night. It was well weird.

For one thing, they didn't actually play the album. For another, there was a random fashion show element to the evening. This, apparently, is what we'll all be wearing next spring:


Hmmm, yes...

The girls themselves were on great form, happily mingling with the crazies and the hangers-on (I kept my distance through a combination of shyness and sanity). Here is a picture of them in their finery:



This happy-go-lucky social ease is not something you associate with the formerly surly Sugatrio. True, they're a bit older and wiser (and less hormonal) than the pre-millennial Sugababes v1.0. But I have a theory they were still on a high from their better-than-sex* acoustic set at Radio One's Live Lounge earlier in the day.

First up was the single, Girls, where the guitarist took heroic measures to ensure the intro didn't sound like Radiohead's Just. Then they did a cover of Keane's Spiralling, which was simply fantastic. Indeed, it featured the finest two seconds of the Sugababes' career to date...



Brilliant, eh? Full MP3s of the performance are available at the following locations:

:: Sugababes - Girls (live lounge) [MP3]
:: Sugababes - Spiralling (live lounge) [MP3]

* Better than sex with Peter Stringfellow or Pat Butcher. Other sexual encounters may improve on the whole 'listening to the Sugababes' experience.

Labels: live lounge, MP3, Music, sugababes

So, who was the beatboxing pop star I mentioned yesterday?

Why, it was none other than Sugababe Amelle Barberadicksonererah!



Amazing.

Labels: discopop, Music, sugababes

The cynical opportunism of the Sugababes' new single is so audacious that it deserves a kind of grudging respect.

By stealing the hook from Ernie K Doe's Here Come The Girls and adding some nondescript "independent women" verses, the band have guaranteed themselves a lifetime's supply of performance royalties from wedding disco DJs.

But the song has a distinct air of "will-this-do" hanging over it, particularly in Keisha's middle 8 section, which is more piercing than a tin whistle in a wind tunnel.

The video isn't much better, eschewing the high fashion of the band's previous video, Denial, for (yawn) some people dancing in a nightclub. The mild lesbianics from Amelle were presumably orchestrated by the same marketing focus group that "thought up" the idea for single in the first place.

Teacher's report: C+
Could do better. See me after class.

Sugababes - Girls

Labels: Music, sugababes, video

:: Cor blimey, it's only the farking trailer for Guy Ritchie's new film, you slags.



:: The Sugababes' new video is previewed over on Popjustice. Warning: includes strobe lights, bouncing, forty-seven-year-old song.

:: Trailer Addict has the (real, this time) trailer for Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make A Porno.

:: What on earth is going on in the new Kaiser Chiefs video?


:: Out magazine names the 100 Gayest Albums of all time. Showtunes, Madonna and The Indigo Girls - who'd have thunk it?

:: Jennifer Aniston tries out the oldest pick-up technique in the book - "You look kinda tense, why don't I give your shoulders a rub?"

:: Epic marriage proposal failure


:: The LA Times has a great preview of Sunday night's VMAs, which mark the 25th anniversary of the MTV award show. Apparently they're going to use Paramount Studios back-lot to create live music videos. It can only be better than the awful "party in Kanye West's hotel room" from last year.

:: Eleventy buckets of brilliant - Diplo vs Santogold have done a mixtape called Top Ranking. Thirty-five top tunes, including three new Santogold songs. Tracklisting over at Get Weird.

:: Janet Jackson reckons she might bring her Rock Witch U tour to Europe. I'll believe it when I see it.

:: After her interview with Billboard, Janet dressed up as a mushroom and presented her brothers with silver-plated KFC buckets [shurely some mistake - Ed]



:: Am I the only one who finds it frightening that, if John McCain gets elected, Sarah Palin - who says global warming is "not man-made" - is only one weak heartbeat away from being President? Gain some more insight into her fully-thought-through political ideas from her "personal blog".

:: We Are Pop Slags has a new discovery - US teen band Vistoso Bosses, who are the Sugababes multiplied by the Wee Papa Girl Rappers. Just signed to Interscope, apparently. One to watch.

Labels: film, Janet Jackson, kaiser chiefs, links, Music, santogold, sugababes, video

It's called Girls, it's out on 6th October, and here is an excerpt from the press release:

"Never scared to take risks with new sounds and producers, SUGABABES have teamed up with relatively unknown producers Si Hulbert and Melvin Kuiters for Traxstarz to bring you their new single GIRLS which is based around a sample of Ernie K Doe's classic soul-funk anthem Here Come The Girls."

Or, in translation:

"Having employed the services of hitmakers like Dallas Austin, Cathy Dennis and Xenomania in the past, Sugababes have inexplicably teamed up with the people behind Booty Luv to bring you their new single Girls, which is a rip-off of a song you heard on a Boots advert a year ago, when the band were still relatively credible."

NB This single will be massive.

Sugababes - Girls (radio rip)

Labels: Music, sugababes

Oasis aren't involved, so it won't make the papers, but this week sees three of the biggest-selling female pop artists in UK chart history facing off in a race for number one... Let's take a look at the contenders:

Labels: Girls Aloud, madonna, Music, sugababes, vote

The Sugababes are back with the third (and best) single from their Change album - Denial.

The video is either "very arty" or "an overblown media studies project". The sensitive handling of the song's lyrics can be summed up with the following freeze-frame.



Do you see? The egg represents love and it is all smashed up. It is, like, totally a metaphor for a broken heart.

Sugababes - Denial

Labels: Music, sugababes, video

Those Sugababes people have made an uncharacteristically technicolourful video for their new single, Changes. Perhaps they are hoping to distract us from the fact that the song is a bit dreary until it gets to the chorus.

Here are some photos. You might want to turn down the contrast on your monitor before proceeding.

Keisha has big pink eyes - a symptom of conjunctivitis.
Maybe she is allergic to shellfish. Or Amelle.

Heidi, meanwhile, is being eaten by a roll of 1970s flock wallpaper

Amelle, surrounded by pansies. Readers can insert their own joke here.

Keisha shows us her flower. Oo-er, missus. Etc.

Luckily, by the end of the video, natural order is restored and the girls appear dressed in silky negligees. Someone should have kept Amelle away from the crimping tongs, though.

If you'd like to see all of these pictures again, only moving, here is the video in full.

Sugababes - Change

Labels: Music, sugababes, video

The Sugababes have just performed this beautiful version of their number one single, About You Now, live on Radio One. Apparently it was inspired by a fan, Martina, who wrote this arrangement and posted it on Youtube. The video for that is at the bottom of the post...


Sugababes - About You Now (acoustic) (removed due to misuse)

Martina Hassgren performs About You Now

The band also revealed they're touring next March (yay!!!!) and performed a gorgeous cover of the Plain White T's Hey There Delilah, which you can get off of Evilshare by Clicking this link.

Labels: MP3, Music, sugababes, video

Here are the Sugababes performing a new song, Denial, live on the telly.



Regular readers will know I'm partial to a bit of the Babes, but I'm just not "feeling" this track. Maybe it's the bouncy 1980s bass-line, maybe it’s the syrupy harmonies, but it brings to mind the sort of tepid pop song you used to get free as a flexi-disc on the cover of Look-In.

Come back, Mutya, all is forgiven.

Except your solo album. That was awful.

Labels: Music, sugababes, video

Here it is, then, all three minutes and seven seconds of the Sugababes' new single About You Now in glorious MP3. Whaddaya think?


Sugababes - About You Now (Radio One exclusive first play) (removed due to misuse)

Labels: MP3, Music, sugababes

It is called About You Now

It sounds a bit like Kelly Clarkson's Since U Been Gone

It also has synthesizers in it, which Kelly Clarkson simply would not allow

It premieres on Jo Whiley's show tomorrow

It is "the best Sugababes single since Round Round," says Popjustice

But Round Round was mostly rubbish, so what does Popjustice know?

It is definitely better than Walk This Way, however

You can hear a 30-second preview via the "wonders" of Youtube

That is all

Labels: sugababes

A couple of Sugababes-related interviews from the past couple of weeks see:
a) The current line-up sniping about their former band-mates
b) Mutya bitching that Amelle is her "clone"
c) Groove Armada saying Mutya is "the voice of a generation" but hopelessly unreliable.

Here are the quotes in all their cut'n'pasted glory...

EXHIBIT A - OK Hotstars
You're heading to America in a couple of weeks. Will you come back with an awful accent like Joss Stone?
Girls: (Laughs) No way!Our accents are fine the way they are!

Are you pleased that your ex-bandmate Siobhan Donoaghy didn't do very well in the charts with her new single?
Heidi: I saw her video...I thought it was quite good.
Keisha: We don't wish bad things on anyone, it just makes you a bad person. She's got talent.

What about Mutya? Will you be buying her album in June?
Keisha: We'll probably be sent a free copy.
Heidi: I won't be buying it.
Amelle: No, I probably won't either.

And will you listen to it?
Amelle: I'll probably give it away as a present!
Keisha: She isn't exactly our best friend...

It's a sad state of affairs really, isnt it?
Keisha: There is no need for all of this. I think sometimes people regret the mistakes they have made and like to put blame on whoever they want. Why can't we all just be happy?

EXHIBIT B - The Guardian
Did the speed of the transition (from Sugababes mark 2.0 to Sugababes 3.0) bother her? "It was quick," she blinks. "Within 4, 5 days of me saying I've left, she's on the page. I literally said to my managers before, 'please, whatever you do, make me feel like I had a place in Sugababes, don't make her like me'. A replacement but not a replacement, d'youknowhatImean? And it was like a cloning."

Mutya went down to CD:UK in early 2006, "I actually went down there with Keisha. I wanted to meet Amelle, I said hello and then I wasn't allowed to see them after because apparently Heidi was shocked and upset, I made Amelle feel out of place and put them all off their performance. (Bristles) It took me to get up out of my bed to come and show there's no hard feelings and I got it pushed back right in my face so I thought 'forget it'. And I haven't really spoken to them since.

EXHIBIT C - Australia's Herald and Sun
The standout moment on Soundboy Rock is Song 4 Mutya, featuring Mutya Buena, formerly of the Sugababes.
TOM OUT OF GROOVE ARMADA: Popjustice, this website in the UK, called it the first great pop record of '07. We've never been in that world. We've never really been cool in the way Basement Jaxx were cool. I think this record has moved us into that area while still being a good record. It does that thing great pop records do. My wife's sister, who has the cheesiest taste, loves it, and Popjustice get that it's a good record.

How did Mutya end up on the song?
TOM: We needed an iconic voice. It's the voice of a generation, that generation of female pop acts. The same way that Robbie Williams left Take That at the right time, she left the Sugababes at the right time. The Sugababes are a bit random for me now. It doesn't work any more. She's one of those pop voices, when you mention her, people don't go "What are you working with her for?", they go "She's cool." Mainly 'cos she's so scary.

Did you get the real reason she left Sugababes out of her?
TOM: No, we didn''t get on on that level, really. She's 21. She's on her mobile all the time talking to her friends about hair dye. Occasionally I'd get her in to do some singing. She was always late, very often cancelled, but lovely. We had lunch with her twice and both times she had battered sausages & chips, which I really respect. Very easy to work with, apart from the cancellations after big nights out. She may have a baby but she's 21 and she's still enjoying herself. I like that about her. She's not a mouse who gets pushed out.

HS: The song says Prince's HOT THING is playing while she's driving and she knows every line. Does she?
TOM: Ah, no, that's definitely my lyric. I don't think she'd know what that's about.

This is all great. A bit of pop bitchiness was long overdue. Bring it on!

Labels: Music, sugababes

Why, I believe it is.

[via Karinski]

Labels: Music, sugababes

Mutya Buena was in the Sugababes. Then she sensationally quit to have a baby. But she got bored of sitting around watching Ballamory and mixing batches of Milupa, so she called up her mates and made some new records.

To start with, she released a drippy duet with George Michael. Then a toe-tapping dance thing with Groove Armada spurted onto the internet and people said it was, literally, "quite good". Now she has finally got together a proper solo record which expresses her true artistic vision and… erm, it's a rip-off of Lenny Kravitz's's'sss'''' It Ain't Over Til It's Over. Dear God, why?

I've listened to it a couple of times now and I still can't decide whether it's (a) very good or (b) complete lunacy. But here's the video so you can make up your own mind:

Labels: Music, mutya, sugababes, video

Fizzy pop godesses Girls Aloud and Sugababes have teamed up for this year's Comic Relief single. As is tradition, they are mauling a classic song in the name of charity. This time round the song is Aerosmith's Walk This Way and, although it could be worse, it is still pretty bad. In fact, wearing a red nose might be the best way to avoid the stink.

Nonetheless, it is Girls Aloud and I am contractually obliged to (a) mention it, and (b) like it.

Wanna listen? ...Erm, I'm afraid you can't. I've removed the audio after hundreds of search engines started linking directly to the MP3. It's a charity single, you cheap bastards.

Labels: Girls Aloud, MP3, Music, sugababes

Hello viewers!

Here are some songs to help you cope with the New Year blues.

Yours,
mrdiscopop

They Might Be Giants - Older - To remind you to keep your new year's resolutions. Or ditch them and live for today. You decide



Regina Spektor - That Time - To remind you that it's okay to reminisce about the good old times, too.



Sugababes - New Year - To remind you this beautiful song exists, after it was cruelly excised from the 'Babes histroy on the otherwise-perfect Greatest Hits CD, Overloaded. (removed due to misuse)



Planet Funk - Kiss The Sun - To remind you that summer's not that far away, after all.

Labels: MP3, Music, regina spektor, sugababes

1) The Sugababes have a lot of great songs. Even that one with Sting in it isn't too bad.

2) In fact, even pensioners know the words to Push The Button.

3) Keisha cannot sing without pressing a secret button directly above her head.

4) If we could be styled in the, erm, style of the Sugababes, we'd have Heidi's bottom, Keisha's top, and we'd drown Amelle's stylist (puffball skirts? really?).

5) The Sugababes next single will be Follow Me Home, and they are filming the video in Prague.

6) Six-year-old girls have camera phones, which they bring to concerts. It wasn't like that in our day, etc.

7) We miss Mutya's hotpants

8) Radio One's Aled left before the encore. Perhaps he isn't aware of the convention.

9) Amelle's voice isn't as deep as Mutyas, so she struggles with some of the old songs.

10) But when she gets to sing something in her range, she can really belt it out.

11) Their cover of the Artic Monkeys I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor is exceptionally good - and seemed to be the girls' favourite part of the concert. A new direction beckons? Sugababes rock!

12) Erm...

13) That's it.

Labels: Music, Review, sugababes

So, the rumours were true and Mutya Buena has left the Sugababes. It appears that their recent attempt to 'adopt a US style' involves losing members left, right and centre, á la Destiny's Child. Except founding member Keisha is hardly Beyoncé.

Mutya is leaving, she says, because "I honestly felt that the commitment I would need to make to Sugababes over the next 12 months was something that would become compromised by me." So we can look forward to her first solo album by the end of 2006, then... Something which might not be as big a disaster as, say, a solo All Saints album.

Why? Because the best songwriters in the country think Mutya is one of her generation's most talented vocalists. When we spoke to Brian Higgins from Xenomania earlier this year, he had this to say: "Her voice can make your heart melt its tone is so beautiful, she is also an excellent lyricist and melody writer, she is also only 19 and is making her 4th album."

The Sugababes will continue, however. They've announced that a new member will be introduced "within the next 24 hours" to fulfill contractual obligations "help us carry on taking the Sugababes brand of music forward". The 'Sugababes brand'? Oh dear, they seem to have confused their music with a Big Mac.

So, who do you think the new babe will be? Roweta X-factor? That one out of Hear'say? Or maybe it'll be third-time-lucky for poor old Javine? Leave your ideas in the comments box!

Labels: Music, mutya, sugababes

An enthusiastic Ebayer is auctioning off a box containing 'at least one prop from the TV series Friends.

What could it be? Joey's poreclain dog? Phoebe's guitar? Or... erm, the box that Chandler hid inside during "The One With Chandler In A Box"?

You'll only find out if you win: 4 days left to go!

Shock news! Mutya Sugababe eats Coco Pops and a full English breakfast in the morning. How does she manage to squeeze into those hotpants?

Mogblog is illegally generously offering a download of the new Franz Ferdinand album weeks before it's released. You'll need to get bittorrent for it to work, though.

Speaking of Franz Ferdinand, why is there suddenly a trend for song lyrics about kinky bumsex?

The Franz allude to it in their new single: 'Do you wanna go where I never let you before?'

Now Rachel Stevens (Rachel Stevens!) is at it, too. Her next record, "I Said Never Again" boasts:

It's two weeks later
I feel such a traitor
Oh, I let you in my back door

We never pictured Rachel as being into that sort of thing. After all, she stormed off TV last week after being asked to play a game of "Creamy Muck Muck".

It's still the best song title of the year, and the video is just as magnificent: "I need some fine wine and you, you need to be nicer", is streaming from the Cardigans website. Nina dresses up and plays femme fatale á la Jean Harlow, while something odd goes on with a dog. What's with all the dead people in bondage gear, though?

So, Kate Moss - a pencil-thin supermodel with a junkie boyfriend takes cocaine? They'll be trying to tell us Jordan is a vacuous, publicity-hungry, plasticated media whore next.

What's that? Oh...

Labels: cardigans, franz ferdinand, links, Music, rachel stevens, sugababes

It wasn't bad policies or a lack of leadership that cost the Tories the election. No, it was all Kylie's fault.

Tracklistings, reviews and promo shots from the Sugababes album (bizarrely called "Taller In More Ways") are available over at Sugashack.co.uk. They had a download of the new single up there for a while, too, but the lawyers have intervened. You can still hear it via the Sugababes' US site, though.

Just in case we haven't hammered home the point that Goldfrapp are the saviours of pop music quite often enough, here's what the Guardian has to say about their new album:

"Goldfrapp treasures the idea of pop stardom as an opportunity to re-imagine yourself from the ground up... A brash, beautiful celebration of love and dancing that puts Kylie and Madonna on the back foot."

And thank you to everyone who took our advice on Monday. It looks like "Ooh La La" will be the highest new entry in this week's chart!

Finally, Justjared.com has pix of Jack Osbourne and Mishal Barton topless. We'll let you decide which of those links to click on.

Labels: goldfrapp, kylie, links, Music, sugababes

Ever imagined what it would be like if you had a man-sized hamster wheel? Well, you need wonder no more...

Quote of the day is Madonna on her early career: "Sometimes I was being overtly sexual for the sake of showing off.". Really? Because we hadn't noticed.

The new Sugababes album"will piss over anything else released in the next five years", says Popjustice. However, it appears to have a cover of Animotion's Obsession (you're an obesssion, you're my obsession, what do you want me to be, to make you sleep with me). The jury is out, but we'll hold a highly inappropriate press conference once we've reached a verdict.

This year's amihotornot is called isitnormal. The website gives you your very own chance to act as agony aunt/uncle to people with quandries like this one:
"I am a guy and I love to wear nylons and pantyhose but I am def. not gay. I do this habit because I like the feel of them on my leggs. I wanted to know if it is normal and if I should be worried and does any other guys wear nylons?"

On a related note, why spend some amusing moments doing a google search on "I'm definitely not gay, but…"

Labels: humour, links, madonna, Music, sugababes

Time for another 'deleted scene' from our series of songwriter profiles on the BBC website.

In this vignette, Brian Higgins waxes lyrical about Sugababe Mutya Buena:

"Our best pop singers are very underrated, though I accept that there are not that many of them. As everyone knows, the press in our country can be very savage about celebrities regardless of what area of entertainment they are from.

Mutya for instance is incredibly talented. Her voice can make your heart melt, its tone is so beautiful. She is also an excellent lyricist and melody writer. She's only 19 and is making her 4th album. I think it is unfortunate that you would struggle to establish that information in our press.

It is naive, but we should publicly support - not destroy - the talented people in this country. That does not mean letting them off the hook if they seriously mess up, it just says show them the respect that their talent is clearly due at all times."

Well said, that man.

BBC News: The Hitmakers - Xenomania

Labels: Music, mutya, sugababes, xenomania

Samples of a new Sugababes track have surfaced on William Orbit's new website.

Called 'Spiral', the song features lead vocals from the girls and an unidentified sugabloke (willy ø himself?)

Very good stuff - and a tasty reminder of why the 'Babes are the Best Thing In British Pop^TM .

William Orbit's website (head for the New Music section).

Labels: Music, sugababes

Natalie Imbruglia: Shocked!


Heidi & Keisha Sugababe:
Suck in those stomachs!


Girls Aloud: Windswept!


Gwen Stefani: Sunburnt!


Kelly Osbourne: Oh, the humanity!

Brit Awards

Labels: Girls Aloud, gwen stefani, Music, natalie imbruglia, sugababes